Want to be a great lover?
Forget everything you’ve ever learnt from porn. Porn is a great accompaniment to solo sex sessions and can work wonders to jazz up a tired monogamous relationship if you watch it together. But if you’re using it as sex education, you really are deluded. Here’s six really bad lessons porn teaches you about sex if you’re a man.
FOREPLAY IS ALL ABOUT HER GIVING YOU A BJ
Standard ‘foreplay’ in porn generally revolves around women giving men blow-jobs. As much as it does give women pleasure to give pleasure, It doesn’t mean you can ignore getting her aroused.
No foreplay is a major turn-off for several reasons.
First, it screams selfish. Second, it might well rob her of an orgasm since most women orgasm through oral sex, you using your fingers or a sex toy.
Foreplay isn’t a luxury. It’s necessary for the vaginal canal to lubricate and expand to make penetration pleasurable and pain free. Skip it and you remove most of the pleasure she gets from sex.
GOING STRAIGHT FROM ANAL PLAY OR ANAL INTERCOURSE TO VAGINAL IS OK
Condoms never feature in porn and neither does safe sex.
Ignore what you see online – you should never, EVER put anything that’s been in the anus – fingers, a penis, a toy – directly into the vagina afterward because it transfers bacteria that can cause vaginal and urinary tract infections.
SALIVA WORKS JUST AS WELL AS LUBE DOES
Personal lubricant – the friend of any couple who take sex seriously – also rarely gets a look in with porn.
Saliva does an OK job if there’s nothing else to hand but for truly comfortable sex you need to use a good quality personal lubricant.
It’s a must if you’re intending on having intercourse for a long period of time and you don’t want your partner getting sore.
And don’t even think about having anal sex unless you intend using a long-lasting silicone based lubricant.
CALLING WOMEN BITCHES AND WHORES IS SOMETHING ALL WOMEN ENJOY
Some women get off on being spoken to in a degrading way (usually quite powerful women who have high self-esteem and quite enjoy the reverse power play).
But a lot of women will be disgusted and/or completely turned off. Never launch straight into degrading or obscenities without testing the water first with a very mild version.
THREESOMES ARE THE NORM
Lots of things happen frequently in porn that really don’t happen often in real life: the most obvious is threesomes.
Threesomes are so much the norm in porn, some men are genuinely confused if their girlfriend doesn’t want to participate in a three way.
But while threesomes remain a popular fantasy, very few couples take it through to reality – for good reason.
Threesomes work brilliantly when they’re a little film running through your head, every move controlled and directed by you.
The reality is often unpredictable, disturbing and nothing at all like you’d imagined.
WOMEN LIKE YOU TO BE REALLY ROUGH
This is my personal bugbear about porn – men are constantly hitting women’s clitorises.
Do NOT try this at home unless it’s requested.
In real life, most women enjoy a soft, gentle touch – particularly around and on the clitoris – which is extremely sensitive.
Everything is exaggerated in porn, so you can deduct half the force you see when men slap women’s buttocks as well.
Mild slapping does turn women on but few like the force you see as the norm in porn.
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