Fancy a threesome but don’t want the complications of another body in the bed? A strapless dildo just might do the trick.
Great for role-play, harness-free dildos sit more naturally, so feel more realistic for the person being penetrated.
Another big benefit of using a strapless rather than harness-held version is full body contact: you have to stay close to hold it in place. Your hands are free to explore elsewhere and both of you can experience penetration at the same time. Best of all, there’s little interruption to sex using a strapless because they’re easy to insert.
How they work
They’re designed to be worn by a woman. She inserts the smaller egg-shaped end inside her (well lubed) vagina, holding it in place by gripping it with her pelvic floor muscles. The internal dildo stays in place by the counter-balancing weight of the dildo that’s outside; this also means it leans against the highly sensitive front wall of the vagina. Once it’s in place, then it’s up to the wearer to anally penetrate her male partner (called ‘pegging’) or to use on a female partner in her vagina or anus.
Practice makes perfect!
So that’s the theory.
In practise, strapless dildos do take a bit of getting used to so don’t be put off if it slips all over the place or falls out to start with.
Even if you’ve got vice-like PC muscles, gravity and moving around can make it tricky to keep in place. Just be patient and remember, the more you use it, the easier it becomes – and the benefits make it well worth the effort.
The best position – especially if this is your first time – is for the person wearing the dildo to lie on her back, clamping her legs tightly together. The partner climbs on top, inserts the external dido and starts gently moving.
Keep your pelvises close and grind together, moving your hips in small circles, rather than use the traditional in-out thrusting method. If you do thrust, don’t pull out too far and don’t go too fast.
If you’re pegging, he can squat over the dildo to penetrate or back onto it. Be warned: sphincter muscles are strong and you might need to use a harness to hold it in place. (All strapless dildos work with harnesses and you can buy them separately.)
Strong pelvic floor muscles are essential, so keep doing your kegel exercises to strengthen your PC muscles. Squeeze and hold the same muscles you use to stop a flow of urine, aiming for three sets of 20 a few times a day. I wouldn’t advise using a strapless dildo if you have weak PC muscles (though they do a brilliant job toning the muscles while you’re wearing them)
Always use lube – lots of it – and make sure it’s good quality. Stop to reapply. Or try an orgasm gel for an intensified experience.
Try it with other toys. Nipple clamps, clitoral vibrators, blindfolds, handcuffs.
Use it for role-play. Strapless dildos lend themselves very nicely to all sorts of fantasies: threesome, bi-curious, power games.
You like deep, fast thrusting? You’re better off using a dildo with a harness, pegging kit or buying a harness separately for your strapless dildo.
