He smells, well, a little bit funky sometimes? She takes so long to climax your tongue seizes?
Here’s some simple but highly effective sex tricks that not only solve your problems fast, they’ll score you big sexy points for being innovative!
GIVE HIM A CHAMPAGNE SHOWER
If you’re worried about the smell or taste of him and think suggesting a shower will be too obvious, give him a champagne shower. It’s far less obvious that you’re secretly washing his whatnot and it’s playful.
Simply open a bottle of something bubbly and make sure your glass is full and close-by. Then take a mouthful before encasing him in your mouth.
It feels great his end – the bubbles fizz and it’s all terribly celebratory. You’re happy because you’re essentially giving him a little wash (and bet this is one time you won’t complain about swallowing.) He’s happy because his penis gets to be star of the show.
ORAL WITH EXTRA
If she takes ages (and ages) to orgasm through oral sex, add G-spot stimulation to seriously speed her up.
Get in the traditional pose (her lying on her back, you between her legs) and insert one or two fingers inside her (while continuing to lick), upturned into a hook shape so you’re aiming toward her tummy.
Stay shallow – half a finger depth only – and feel for a spongy area. Press firmly (and I mean firmly for this), then make a ‘come here’ motion.
If you want to really make her day (or if you find it difficult concentrating on doing several things at once), buy her a G-spot vibe and use that instead.
KILLER COMBO
If he’s the one that takes forever, add anal and ball play to fellatio to give him the ultimate in head-jobs.
Get him to stand while you kneel and start with giving him oral sex, as normal. Then break to press the flat of your tongue against his anus, fluttering it against the opening, then making your tongue stiff before pushing it inside and thrusting in and out.
As you do this, continue stimulating his penis with your hand. Come back via his testicles by licking all the way along the perineum, then use a wide, flat tongue to lick them.
Now it’s back to the penis to run your tongue up the length of his shaft and swirl your tongue around the head.
Keep fellating him but add anal again by inserted a well-lubed finger inside him just before orgasm.
The squeamish (you or him) can get a similar effect by using the side of your hand and pressing up hard in between his legs.
SQUEEZE TO PLEASE
If he’s got the opposite problem and orgasms too quickly during fellatio, try this trick from Ian Kerner, one of the top US sex therapists, author of the infamous She Comes First and He Comes Next.
Every time you want to slow things down a little, stop and put the tip of the head of his penis in the centre of your palm. Wrap the rest of your hand around the head and give it a good firm squeeze.
The squeezing action pushes blood down from the tip of the penis and decreases the chances of him tipping over into ejaculatory inevitability.
TRAIN YOUR TONGUES
You’re a lightweight at giving oral sex because your tongue’s get tired? Both of you do tongue push-up’s to make sure it’s as agile as possible for oral sex.
Repeat all of these exercises 10 to 20 times before moving onto the next.
Stand in front of a mirror and curl your tongue up so the tip of it touches the roof. Now move into a tongue curl: curl the edges of your tongue and then let it go flat. Next, do a tongue stretch, sticking it out as far as it will go, then pull it back in. Finally, try to touch your nose then your chin.
While we’re on the topic, if you want to practice oral sex moves before trying them out on him, use a cucumber. (Peel it first, by the way.)
