Want to sort your sex life – fast? This is the second in a series of blogs designed to transform your love life with instant, easy fixes for common couple sex complaints. What if he prefers porn to having sex with me?
He’s more interested in watching porn on his computer screen than he is jumping into bed with you? First up…
Accept it’s not you
Don’t get me wrong, if you’ve dramatically changed appearance or been a right so-and-so, it might be you. But if it’s simply happening as the relationship ages, it’s probably because he’s lazy. It doesn’t necessarily mean he doesn’t fancy you anymore.
Accept you need to feed each other’s desire
If you’re anything past eight months in (let alone 18), the chemicals that fuel desire are already trickling to a halt. Sad but true. The good news is you can trick your bodies back to producing them. Read how to do it in my blog Sex On the Brain
Confront him
But in a light-hearted way. Joke that his computer gets to see him more than you and that you bet he can’t go without watching his porn for a week. Or two. He’ll protest that it’s easy (no-one likes to admit addiction) then all you have to do is hold him to it. If it’s not that bad, get him to agree to no porn on evenings you fancy a bit.
Make it obvious when you do feel like sex
Like say ‘I want sex with you – tonight’. One of the reasons he likes porn is that it’s straightforward. There’s no second guessing.
If you don’t mind him watching porn, just resent that it’s interfering with ‘real life’ sex, play to it.
Talk dirty, masturbate in front of him. Appeal to his visual side by showing him you want sex. Walk around naked. Take your clothes off like you’re stripping. ‘Accidentally’ leave your heels on as you walk around in your underwear.
Don’t ban it
Ban it and you make it even more appealing than it is already.
Make it quick. One reason he enjoys internet porn is because it’s quick sex. We all get lazy as we get further into the relationship, so make sure he knows not every session has to last for ages. Get into the habit of having bite-size sex. One of you gives the other quick oral sex. You masturbate for him with your vibrator while he watches. Have quick intercourse. A long, sexy snog in the back of the uber. Move away from sex having to have a beginning, middle and end.
Give him a G-spot orgasm
One thing he can’t do on his own, one hand on the mouse, the other on his penis (unless he owns a butt plug) is give himself an anally induced orgasm. Put firm pressure on his perineum by massaging, firmly, the part between his testicles and anus or insert a well-lubed finger up his bottom.
Snuggle afterward
The difference between solo porn sex and couple sex is the skin-to-skin contact and intimacy. He might pretend not to like the cuddle at the end but he’s just as keen as you are (if sleepier).
*Check out last week’s instant sex fix here
You may also like
