Need more help?

This page lists counselling services, book information and other contact numbers which you may find useful. Most of the contacts are UK based, but some have affiliate organisations overseas and can help with overseas queries.

If you're having sex problems

You could try finding the answers in books. Hot Sex and supersex are good general titles which address most problems, Sex Inspectors: Masterclass is particularly good for long-term couple issues as is Quickies.

For mismatched libidos I'd also recommend The Sex Starved Marriage by Michele Weiner Davis. For Women Only by Jennifer and Laura Berman is great for specific female problems.

Other good, general, non-judgemental sex texts include: The New Male Sexuality by Bernie Zilbergeld, The Sex Book by Suzi Godson and the ever-timeless The New Kinsey Report on Sex by June M. Reinisch.

The Big Bang by the writers at nerve.com (Em and Lo) is great but edgy (for the more adventurous and open-minded) as is The Guide to Getting it On by Paul Joannides. All the books are available on Amazon.

Consider general counselling. Often problems which seem sexually based, are more to do with the way your relationship is functioning in general.

It's worth ringing a counsellor or psychologist and making an appointment to check your relationship is sound, before moving onto the more specific services of a sex therapist.

Relate offers a wide range of relationship support options. Couples, individuals, young people and families can work with a counsellor on their private problems. They also run workshops if you're having a baby, getting married or getting over a break-up.

Information about Relate's services are on their website and they provide counselling by phone or via the net. Their one-on-one counselling is not expensive and fees are based on your income. Their phone number is +44 (0)845 456 1310 and their website is www.relate.org.uk

The British Psychological Society provides a list of qualified therapists, grouped by area. Visit their website and click on ‘Find a Psychologist?', then click on your area to find one near you. The website is www.bps.org.uk.

See your doctor and look at your lifestyle: Check any medical conditions or medications aren't to blame. Lots of prescription drugs can affect your sex drive (some medications contribute to impotence, others reduce your sex drive). How is your general health? Cutting back on cigarettes, alcohol and recreational drugs, eating properly, getting sleep and exercise can also make an enormous difference to your energy and libido levels.

Consider seeing a sex therapist. Sex therapists deal with specific sexual issues. You can see a sex therapist through Relate (see the above details) You could also try The British Association for Sexual and Relationship Therapy (BASRT). It provides a list of qualified therapists, grouped by area. Visit their website and click on therapists, then click on your area for sex therapists near you. The website is www.basrt.org.uk.

If you're having relationship problems

You could try finding the answers in books: Hot Relationships (my book) offers practical solutions to many common relationship issues. Because there are so many diverse relationship issues, it's impossible to list specific titles for each here, but a good place to start is to try searching www.amazon.co.uk. Type in your general problem area on the search engine and look at the book titles suggested.

Consider seeing a counsellor, couples counsellor or psychologist. Contact Relate (see details above) or The British Psychological Society (see details above) for qualified therapists in your area. Often, problems with relationships with loved ones or people in general are a result of low self-esteem, the way you were brought up or other events which have affected the way you now view the world or relate to people.

All chats with a therapist are confidential and an expert can often get to the bottom of the problem in a few sessions, while you may struggle with it for a lifetime. Plenty of people see therapists – including therapists and relationship experts! It sometimes helps to have an objective, professional view of your patterns of thinking and it's nothing to be ashamed of. You go and see a heart specialist if you're having heart problems, why not see a relationship specialist if you're having problems in that area?

If you need dating, flirting or body language advice

Try the following books: superflirt and superdate (both my books) are great starting points. Superflirt provides more detail and gives a broad overview of body language and flirting, superdate gives quick tips and lots of picture references, taking you from the meeting right through the date and onto the relationship.

Would Like to Meet... is the book which accompanied the TV show which helped singles find love. You'll find good advice from me, Jay and Jeremy in there. Alan Pease's book, Body Language, is terrific and for hard-core body-language devotees, there is the bible: People Watching by Desmond Morris.

General help

Visit my supersex section on LoveHoney or love.ivillage.com which has good online help.